The Atlantean drinking game
by Gundambaby
Summary: Or why it is so funny to watch SGA. Take a shot every time... New NEW CHAPTER! The '6 Months without new episodes' drinking game! SPOILERS! Do NOT try this at home.
1. Watching SGA

**The one and only true Atlantean drinking game!! **

**_How to get yourself really drunk while watching_**

☞

**First: Get yourself a huge stock of alcohol, grab your SGA DVDs, a glass and relax. Oh, and don´t forget the bucket...**

**Here it is!!**

☞

**Take a shot every time …**

… someone disobeys orders. Two shots if it´s Sheppard.

…Zelenka speaks czech.

…someones is playing golf. Two glasses if it´s not Sheppard.

…references to comics are made. Take two shots if it´s not a Marvel one.

…jokes on Canadian are made. Two shots if it´s not Sheppard on McKay.

… Ronon is beating up Sheppard. Extra shot if he´s grinning while doing so.

…McKay snaps his fingers.

... somebody get´s called away from the mess. Two shots if it is while eating. Three when it´s not McKay.

…Sheppard saves the day by flying something.

…a junior scientist get´s killed. Double shot if he´s sucked dry by Wraith.

…the word 'brilliant' is used. Empty a sixpack if it´s not by McKay.

… Teyla says 'my people'.

…a hazemat suit is worn.

…someone is eating. Double round if it´s not McKay.

…a ZPM is lost.

…you get to think 'hm, I´ve seen that on SG-1'. Two shots if you remember the episode.

…a Wraith get´s up again after being shot.

…you find a German flag patch upside down.

…McKay faints, collapses or loose consciousness. Double shot if it does look funny.

…Zelenka is wearing a blue scientist shirt.

… Lornce says 'Doc'. Extra round if he sounds like a duck.

… you recognize any artefact or weapons components. Take two shoots if it´s a every day kitchen tool.

…Weir is wearing a red shirt. One more shot if she wears it straight through the next three episodes.

… you spot a candle. Two shots if it´s not Teyla´s room.

… somebody wakes up in an infirmary bed. Triple shot if he (she) has been there before more than once.

…you spot a jelly-o. Double up if it´s blue or green.

… something happens in space – and you can hear it. Double round if it´s an explosion.

… Sheppard says 'Buddy'. Two more shots if next thing he says is 'are you okay'.

… you hear 'Hey, we could use (_ancient tool super machine whatever_)!'. Pour yourself another one if it´s not working.

…Weir doesn´t want to give in at first but does later on.

…the team stumbles upon an alien race or some villagers in Pegasus speaking perfect English.

… you find yourself thinking Puddle Jumpers look an aweful lot like bread boxes.

… Teyla or Ronon wear brown, greenish or white clothes. Double up if you have seen that combination before.


	2. Reading Fanfictions

**Thank you all for reading!  
**

**cat4444 DancerLover08 Ditzyleo E. Nagrom GabeXorn gabumon Jenwryn JzHill KariHermione Lady Kayanya meldames mrskeeler nogigglingmajor Reefgirl scifi lemon Terry Bee TheKeeper101 Wingwyrm

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**

**The Atlantean Drinking Game  
**

**_(Or how to get really drunk reading fanfics_)  
**

_Get some alcoholics, search for some stories, filling your glass and ..._**_  
_  
Take a shot …**

...every time some backwater planet's Natives attack. Two more shots for McKay blaming Sheppard whilst running for his life.

... for every fic containing cheese, lemons or jelly-o. Double shot if not McKay centric.

...every time Carson says 'wee'.

... an ancient Artefact is responsible for strange OOC behavior. Super double shot if sex is a side effect.

... for any reference to Sheppard's hair. Sixpack time if it's considered '_stupid but sexy_'.

...Sheppard get's really, badly whumped. Two shots if he still manages to save the day. On his own.

…you find yourself cursing seeing somebody else's review numbers.  
Double round if you re-check your own a second later.

...Carson says "_Don't worry, he (she) is gonna be alright_".

...somebody gets stuck in a cave or anything alike.  
(Double up if person is not alone. Super round if coming out or having sex is included.)

…you find yourself asking '_Uhm, who is Sheyla?_'. Double shot if you ask yourself who McWeir or McShep are.

… Sheppard loses his way in some alien forest or ancient facility.

…you read about a character having an abusive childhood, thus being the way he she is.  
Pity party and white Russians for every mean bully showing up.

…when two people end up together in bed, any you think of the size of the beds show in the serial, asking yourself 'how the hell they don't fall out whilst?'

... every time McKay thinks or talks about Sam. Two shots if it's not Carter.

...every time you find Ronon spelled wrong.

…each and every time Teyla's smile is beautiful, calm, soothing or just mentioned to remind the reader she's still on board but not doing anything despite being pretty.

...each time you read anything like '_from this point on, the mission _went wrong '.  
Kiss your screen if people get cut off from help and things get really dangerous and lethal within minutes.  
(If you spot an additional alien race – Sixpack time!)

… Kavanagh bashing occurs.

…each and every time your parents, friends or siblings call you to do something and you inwardly curse violently at them for getting you away from a story.

…for every '_fucking loved it_' sentence - cheer and drink in one go if you did see it coming.

…every time you read a summary twice, blink, don't understand, but still go for the story.

…when finding a cross over making your eyes bulge and jaw drop. Call best friend of yours for mental support if you find a HP or SM to SGA cross over.

…of Vodka and tomato juice, and mix yourself a Bloody Mary each time someone loses more than 1 liter blood and survives without any further damages.

...every time Ronon and Teyla (or Ford) are send away to get help.  
Two shots and laughing out loud for anybody left behind having sex meanwhile.

…for reading a story, sighing, and wishing it would be used for a SGA episode.


	3. Am I obsessed

**I'm a bit suprised myself I wrote another chapter;  
Sorry to all those poor readers still recovering from the last two chapters :)**

**Thanks to: **

_arcticmoonshadow Broken Fire Hydrant cat4444 Clio Reap DancerLover08 Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom gabumon Insanity-taken-to-new-lengths Jenwryn KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Lady Kayanya lemons and wraith oh my MBB meldames mrskeeler nogigglingmajor Rainbow-Cookie-Power Reefgirl Scarbantia scifi lemon SuperRainbowMuffin TangledPencils Terry Bee TheKeeper101 Wingwyrm Yarrharr_

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**The 'Am I obsessed with SGA' Drinking Game' **

**(alias _'If you're still sober at the end, you're not_')**

**Take a shot…**

… for every fanfiction for SGA you have write; double shot for cross-overs, triple shot for serials, sequels, prequels or stories with more than 30 chapters

… if you think you would be able to ignore a whole season or at least 10 episodes for a plot you don't like, but still keep on watching SGA

… and see your therapist if you usually whine about being too hot or too cold, but easily spend 3 hours in a room minus 5 or plus 30 Celsius if you're reading a fanfic or watching SGA

… for every picture you have drawn, edited or printed; take a double shot for animations and comics (and send them to me ;)

… (_but only a small one_) for every Mary-Sue-I'm-a-hero_ine_-in-SGA-idea; take a big shot one for "_I save them all fantasies_", and a double shot for dreams of you being a replacement or a brilliant new recruit / being the long lost daughter, son or oh-I-thought-you-were-dead-fiancee of some character

… for snapping at others belittling SG or SGA; double shot if you felt a tiny little bit like beating that person up, or make him her cry in return by making fun of his her favorite serial... (Triple shot and try to feel bad, if you actually did)

... for mourning or else way being emotionally traumatized after 3.17 or any other episode; get yourself a chocolate cookie if you cursed the producers of SGA

… if you think it's a shame there aren't any life size posters or dolls of SGA around; double shot and send me pictures if you solved the problem by doing some yourself

… if you can remember more than three odds looks being cast at you from strangers whilst talking about SGA to a friend; triple shot for your friends casting you strange looks whilst you talk about SGA

… if you would love to possess / plan / google for /actually posses SGA doujinshis  
(_double shot for the author, being pathetic enough to beg everybody reading this to send her some_)

… if the picture you draw of your dream partner looks much like a clone of a SGA character or a mix between; double shot if you drool and don't even feel ashamed when being asked if shower scenes of said character should be included in SGA

… for every actor, singer or comic figure you thought of like'_Woha, doesn't he / she look a lot like that character from SGA?_'; double shot and blinders for every person you meet in real life and had the very same thought (Double shot with lemon juice if I can convince you Phil Collins looks like McKay, and Enrique Iglesias isn't that far from Sheppard)

… and grin wolfish for every ER, Mutant X, The District, Twice in a Lifetime, Without a Trace, Dawson's Creek, Providence, CSI:Miami, Profiler, The X-Files, Sliders, Viper or Charmed episode you have watched, just because a SGA actor / actress was guest-staring!

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Notice the bottle is empty, and you can't take another shot 

Take a fictional shot... if you are sure you have 100 more ideas, but are actually so drunk you can't possible write them down :)


	4. 6 Months without new episodes

**Ho! Thanks to all still reading ... I'm being an aweful writter nowerdays, both regarding quality and quantity o.o...  
Maybe this little Part will explain a few things ... This long, tiresome break is really going to get me!!**

**Thanks to: **

_arcticmoonshadow Broken Fire Hydrant cat4444 Clio Reap DancerLover08 Ditzyleo Dorothy Of Kansas E. Nagrom gabumon Jenwryn KariHermione kennyk12 khajit Lady Kayanya lemons and wraith oh my Lujana MBB meldames mrskeeler nogigglingmajor Rainbow-Cookie-Power Reefgirl Scarbantia scifi lemon SithLibrarian skysgirlforever SuperRainbowMuffin TangledPencils Terry Bee TheKeeper101 Wingwyrm Yarrharr_

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**The "Omh, 6 months without new SGA episodes" Drinking Game – SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4**

_(or what does go through my mind whilst waiting for the new season)_

Take a shot…

… For ever time you watched episode 3.08, 3.14 or 3.17 (without watching other episodes); get yourself another shot if you can turn off your audio and still know what they are saying

… of pure Tequila for each time you wish Carter wouldn't come to Atlantis or die / leave after the first 3 episodes; double up if you wrote a fanfic about

… for each fit you had after reading possible spoilers of one character getting hurt, killed or abducted; another shot for saying 'if they do that, I swear I stop watching SGA!!!"

… and get a piece of paper each time you come up with another reason why the producers of SGA will horribly regret the long break between season 3 and 4

… whenever you got the feeling you know for sure what plots and character developments season 4 will contain; take the whole bottle if you wrote a fanfiction about your fabulous idea idea and labelled it 'might contain spoilers for season 4'

… for every time you come across some spoilers and decided to never watch SGA again (double shot if you cross-check the spoilers less than 2 days later); grin and drink a glass of orange juice for going 'pro SGA' less than 12 seconds later

… for every prayer you send to heavens for the father of Teyla's Baby not being Sheppard, Ronon or any other Atlantis resident; triple shot for starting a poll on it, or thinking about writing to official sources to find out who is going to be daddy (get yourself a cookie for finding a interview with Rachel clearing that point and start celebrating)

… as a punishment for all those poor creatures not interested in SGA you have annoyed with theories, crankiness and whining; take another shot and apologize to everybody in a 3 miles range forced to listen to your logical debate (to, not with a friend who tried to be compassionate, even though unable to understand you) about why you are cured of SGA and will never, ever again watch it

... for every other serial, book, whatever you became interested in, feeling bad / afraid / strange for not focusing on SGA anymore

… and sigh for each time you googled 'Carson return Season 4'


End file.
